Thursday, June 15, 2006

I think I need help dealing...

Since I know you will read this, my love, don't get angry. I'm just venting my frustrations because that's what blogs are for. ;-). That goes for anyone else that happens to be the subject matter of one of my posts, too. This is just me venting so don't take offense.

So... It has been seven days since my wife and I discussed the fact that she was planning on divorcing me and seven days since we agreed to work things out and get back to being a happy couple I'm pleased to say that things have been going well. However, I've had to work the last few days so I haven't seen much of her. I planned on having a nice, enjoyable day with her today, being that it is one of only two days off that I'm getting this week, but instead I spent most of the day arguing with my daughter about her responsibilities while my wife slept the day away.

Now I know that this seems like a stupid thing to be bothered by but when I'm expected to (and willing to and wanting to) make time to spend with her and want nothing more then to do just that, this kind of thing just hurts me on some deep, emotional level.

On top of that, my mother called me today with 'some horrible news' that I 'needed to be prepared for'.... Apparently, she had talked to my Aunt... Jess had talked to my Aunt about all of this stuff a few weeks ago and asked her to keep it confidential, but as I explained to Jess, I would never expect a family member of the other party to be able to hold up to that, and my Aunt apparently told my Mom all about it. So anyway... Mom is freaking out and telling me how Jess is going to leave me and how she's having a relationship with someone online and having cybersex with him and calling him on the phone. Of course, Jess has already told me all of this (although I thought it was only once that she had cybersex with him), but hearing it from my mother was like getting a knife in the eyball and it brought it all back up to the surface... *sighs*

Anyway... that's all the venting I'm going to do for now. Getting it out has made me feel a little better, though I'm still having a tough time with the fact that Jess was, more or less, cheating on me. I wish that she had told me that there was a problem before she took that route... Alas! It is over and done with now and I will just continue to be there for her and work through my emotions. I'm going to go cuddle with her for a few moments before I pass out.

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