Wednesday, July 5, 2006

I'm tired of having to deal with this s***...

So...

I'm sitting here arguing back and forth with my roommate. He seems to have no concern regarding the fact that he is roughly $1200 in the hole to me and that, because he has bled my reserves completely dry and still failed to pay me anything but fifty bucks this month, I have no way to pay the rent and other bills.

What makes it even better is the fact that, even though I almost lost my marriage because of it, I was going to be working lots of overtime so that I could get caught up on bills again and, lo and behold, the overtime at work was cancelled.

So now I sit here at work, trying not to cry and wondering what the f*** I'm supposed to do to keep a roof over my family and food on the table.

Thanks a million, FRIEND.

I guess I shouldn't be surprised, though... He's done it before and I should have never let him move back in in the first place. Fool me twice...

Such mistakes won't happen again...

Staying Quit...

Well... I've made it well over the 72 hour mark without a cigarette now and they say that is the worst of it, so the rest should be fairly simple. I'm pretty proud of myself and I feel better then I have in a long time since getting off of the nicotine.

Sunday, July 2, 2006

26 Hours Down, One To Go...

I've now made it 26 hours without a cigarette. Although this would probably seem like nothing to the non-addict, I'm quite proud of myself for going 26 hours without the drug I've craved and ingested for so long now.
The other half of my blog title, 'One to go' is something I've picked up from some Stop Smoking websites. They all make a very good point about quitting smoking and that is that 'forever' is a VERY LONG TIME and especially so to the withdrawl experiencing addict. It is because of this that I'm only worried about the next hour. After that hour, I'll deal with making it through the hour after that and so on.
For now, I feel pretty good though I feel half-stoned and I'm not sure what is causing it. It is probably the fact that my caffeine levels are higher now because I don't have nearly as much nicotine using up caffeine. Either way, it is an interesting feeling...

Quitting Smoking SUCKS!!!

I'm trying once again to quit smoking and it is sucking worse then I remember it from the last times. I've definitely got the DT's going on right now... I'm moody and craving cigarettes like my life depends on them....
What is the most crazy thing about quitting smoking? The fact that my brain is arguing with me.... I mean, I have caught myself rationalizing everything from bumming a drag off of a friend to buying another pack. I have to stop and tell myself no and move on. Then... 20 or so minutes later... I'm thinking of the fact that one cigarette won't hurt... GAH!!!
It is definitely tough, but I'm nearing the 20 hour mark with no cigarettes, so I'm doing all right. I just don't know how long I can keep arguing with myself before I finally give in to myself... LOL
Well... That's it for now... I'll update again soon.